Saturday, March 16, 2013

Should I Stay or Should I Go.............

Two years ago I decided to go back to collage for the second time.  Since the recession hit, I was having a hard time finding a job in my field.  I had worked at an automotive plant as the shipping administrator, and after a lay off there, I was sorta in limbo.  I handed out what seemed to be  a million resumes, but to no avail.  I decided that going back to school would be a good option for me.  I enrolled in the Business Accounting program....I was set to go. 

It was fun being a student again!  Plus I made some great new girlfriends. My last semester at St. Clair College I found out I was pregnant.  I worked my retail and cashier job until he was born, and I have been home ever since.

Now my little Marshmallow is 6 months old, and I find myself thinking about going back to work.  This feeling makes me feel a little guilty (shouldn't I want to stay home and spend every second with my son.....) but at the same time I know I'm not that girl.  Granted I am only looking to go back part time right now, but still the guilty feeling is still fleeting. I wonder if all moms feel this way?  I love, love, LOVE being a mom, but I feel the need for a little adult conversation.

I  find my self day dreaming about cute little business outfits I would wear.......maybe with my hair tied up in a serious but messy bun.  Would I dare to wear red lipstick to the office? Could I pull it off without looking trampy? Would I remember all the accounting procedures I learned? Would I even know how to have an adult conversation.........and so my mind wanders.

That's not to say I wouldn't miss being home 24/7 with my little Marshmallow.  Would I miss the first time he took his first steps, the first time he said his first words (which better be mama...just saying!). How about our morning snuggles on the couch?  Its such a hard decision. 

So here I am....do I start my new career early, or do I stay home with the baby I wanted so badly for so long.....should I stay or should I go?

Maybe I will just start handing out resumes, and see what happens.  I will let you know!

xoxo

Shauna Lynn

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