Friday, September 6, 2013

Breaking the Rules

As I grow more and more as a mother, I feel myself looking back on some of the stuff that I didn't understand....didn't quite get....maybe even snubbed a little.

Before my son was born, I use to say I was all for the "cry it out" method (what the fuck did I know).  I use to think co-sleeping was "weird".  I use to think you had to put your child on some sorta of strict schedule so that the baby"learned" to be independent.  I use to be ignorant. 

This is what I have learned since Marshall's arrival almost a year ago regarding these rules.

 Crying it out method is not for everyone.  My son would not sleep through the night....he still doesn't....and he's almost a year old.  But before I could accept this fate, I tried everything in order to get him to do it, including the famous cry it out method.  I did this for  a week.  Let him cry, only going into his room to pat his back and let him know I was there.  It did not work. He hated it, I hated it, and after a week I could not do it anymore.  So I caved, and started bringing him in my bed.......which leads to....

 Co-sleeping is not weird, its a motherfucking God Send.  Once I realized that all this little baby wanted was to be near me, it dawned on me.....just let him be near you idiot.  I only half co-slept though....I would put him in his crib at night, he would go to sleep.  Then when he woke up in the middle of the night, instead of fighting with him to go back to sleep, I just brought him into my bed.  He slept better, I slept better.  If he woke up again, it was either to nurse, or have a bottle, then right back to sleep. This went on until he was about 10 months old.  Then he actually started wanting to go back to sleep in his own crib.  Which leads me to.......

 Things have a way of working themselves out.  I had so many people tell me "He's never going to want to sleep on his own" or "if you don't put him on a schedule he's going to be hard to manage" or my favourite "Your spoiling him". He's a baby....I'm not spoiling him, and even if I was, that's my prerogative.  I started throwing all these rules out the fucking window. I knew deep down what was right for my baby.  I think every mother knows.  Some babies do great with sleeping on there own, and being on a  schedule.  And that is awesome! Some babies do better with co sleeping, and that's OK too. Which leads me too.........

You are a Baby your own Baby.  People gave me advice, I asked for advice, but nine out of ten times, what I initially wanted to do first, what my guts told me to do, was usually right. In those first couple of months I second questioned myself all the time. I wish I could go back to that scared women and tell her "No worries, you got this".

Every baby is how could one parenting styles work? 


Shauna Lynn

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