I was browsing on twitter (my new favourite thing), when I came across a tweet that struck me:
"That awkward moment when you remember an embarrassing event from years ago, then cringe & obsess over what could have been done differently."
I do this all the time. My life is this tweet. I could go on and on about different events that have happened that I still shutter about. Two of these moments really stand out.......
My First Real Kiss
My grade school boyfriend and I had held hands and kissed a few times. Not a real kiss. Meaning we hadn't swapped spit yet. I knew he wanted to, and I was curious myself. But instead of being a normal person, and letting it happen on its own, I went ahead and made it real awkward. First I scheduled a time and day for the kiss to take place. Tuesday, after school. Next, I insisted that this event happen behind a line of trees at a nearby park. Mostly because I was paranoid my parents were going to drive by a see me kissing with my tongue. Now here's the part that I cringe every time I think about it. I wasn't really sure how to kiss, so I was super nervous, and when I get nervous I do stupid shit. As we stood there facing each other, his hands on my waist, mine around his neck, I told my boyfriend that we had to count down to three before we could kiss. Then when we got to three I would yell"no, no, no, I'm not ready yet". Seriously people....I wish I was making this up. That I wasn't really this fucking weird. When I finally decided that I was just going to go for it, I leaned in, with eyes and mouth already opened. Even writing this now, I think to myself, why, oh why couldn't I just let him kiss me normally? Then he could of forced his tongue in my mouth, like all other first kiss stories I hear.
The Slip and Fall Incident that Haunts My Dreams
I was nineteen, and located at one of my favourite clubs on a very busy Friday night. My hair had been nicely ironed with an actual iron, my makeup was perfection, and I had squeezed myself into my favourite painted on jeans. I was hot shit, and strutting around the club like I owned the place. As I made my way through the crowd, I shot some hot ass guy "the look" to show I was interested. He smirked at me. All I had to do now was give him the "smile over my shoulder" as I walked away, and he should be following with a drink in 10 minutes. Except instead, I slipped on the step up to the pool table area, and fell hard in front of the whole bar. My legs went right up in the air, practically over my head, and I landed on my back, flat. I got up as quickly as I could. One of my guy friends ran over to see if I was ok.
"Yeah I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" I say with a quick smile.
"Are you sure" he asks "You fell pretty hard"
Actually I'm thinking about running away screaming and crying, complete with arms flailing. But yeah, totally cool. Cool as a fucking cucumber.
Anybody else obsess over those cringe worthy moments?