Monday, March 24, 2014

The Different People You Meet at the Gym

I blogged a couple weeks ago about competing with my husband in the dieting/exercising department. You can read about it HERE. Since I'm a fucking psycho when it comes to showing my husband up, I've been going to the gym about 4 times a week. This has given me tons of time to meet all the different types of people at the gym.  Here are a few of the stand outs:

1. The Naked

As I was getting changed to start a spin class I looked up to see a women walking around the change room completely naked. Now I know its a ladies dressing room, but she took it to a whole different level. This lady was strolling around like she was fucking window shopping.  She walked over to the scale, weighed herself.  She walked over to the mirror, checked her self out. She made a phone call. She brushed her hair.   Then she just sorta stood there for a bit. I left to make my class and she still hadn't put a single piece of clothing on. I'm not saying you cant be naked, I'm just saying maybe don't treat the changing room like your own private, single member nudist colony.

2. The Aggressor

While lifting weights in the free weight section, there was a women next to me pumping some serious iron. She grunted loudly, she threw the weights down when she was done, unnecessarily hard. She practically foamed at the mouth. I made eye contact with her for a second, and I'm pretty sure I saw flames in her eyeballs. I was seriously waiting for her to run to the top of the stair climber, beat her chest, and roar like a lion.She scared the shit out of me.

3. The Pig Sty

This person is the worse if you ask me.  They use 10 different weights and leave them all over the floor.  They don't wipe the cardio machine down. Instead they wipe their sweaty forehead with their hand, then continue to use 3 different machines. I'm not a germ-a-phob, but come the fuck on.

4. The Wanna Be Trainer

Once I was minding my own business, doing a couple bicep curls, when a guy built like a shit brick house walks up behind me. "Hey" he nods at me

"Um, hi" I respond back, slightly on guard

"Did you know if you increased the weights your lifting, it would produce more muscle, which in turn would burn more calories"

"Oh, right on, thanks for the info" was the only response I could muster up.

"Yeah, and if you do the bicep curls with a slight angle then it will work a larger muscle group." he continues on, not even fazed by the weirded out look sprawled across my face.

"Um, Cool.  So are you a trainer here or something"

"Nah, but I could be. This gym couldn't pay me enough for my knowledge"

He stares at me, and I stare back blankly.  I wasn't really sure what to say at this point.  I decided putting my weights down and moving to the next piece of gym equipment was best.

The gym is defiantly a place where you will meet all different kinds of people. Who knows though. One of these people could be saying to their friend, "Don't be the weird girl with the angry workout face, who sweats through her ugly grey t-shirt, and whisper sings the songs playing on her iPod".  In case you couldn't guess, that person is me.

Shauna Lynn


  1. I tried the gym. I hated the gym. I hated the noise, I hated the smells, I hated the men wearing those stupid tight workout shorts that put me at eye-level with their stupid wieners anytime I was sitting down. I stopped going after a few months.

    I mostly blame the wieners.

  2. "when a guy built like a shit brick house" <----this is comedy gold!!

    And ARGH at those that don't rerack their weights! If it's like 5 or 10lbs it doesn't irk me as much as if it is 50lbs or more.

    Keep it up!!