Friday, May 23, 2014

How Not to Become a Hoarder

Nothing scares me more than a hoarder. Actually that's a lie, a lot of things scare me more than a hoarder, but I just wanted to get my point across...OK?. I can't even watch the show Hoarders, I just try and get the jest of it from the commercials.......that's enough for me.  I think it may be because I'm claustrophobic, and the very idea of a bunch of "things" or "objects" surrounding me is enough to send me over the fucking edge.  I don't like it. So if you like to hang on to things, here is my advice on how to purge your life.  I'm not necessarily saying its good advice, so take it or leave it.  Side Note: When I say "purge" everything, I don't mean baby items, or things with true sentimental value

How Not To Become a Hoarder

1.Throw that Shit Out - I've always heard that if you have not used something in a year, throw it, or give it obviously don't need it.  I take it a step further......If I haven't touched the motherfucker in six months, its gone.

2. Give Yourself a Reward- Adding on to number one, every six months I do a huge purge.  I pick a day and go through everything, ,throw out what I don't want, donate what I don't wear, and pile up all my bills and loose papers that I haven't thrown away.  Then I host a bonfire, and use that as an excuse to burn all my bills and drink one or four glasses of "reward" for cleaning up!

3. Organize - I also organize my house once every six months. I put everything in its place. Its hard to hoard things if they don't have a place. This organization usually stays in effect for about 45 seconds, and then everything goes to shit, but the actually organizing helps keep the hoarding at bay!

4.-Learn How to Say No.  When I was in my early twenties and got my first apartment, a girl I worked with offered to give me a few items she wasn't using.  I said sure, and prepared for her to give me a box or two of household things.  Instead this bitch showed up everyday that week with 3 to 4 boxes of crap.  I am not being ungrateful here......she was obviously purging her house, and decided it was easier to give the stuff to me.  She gave me six "glue-gunned" together lamps, homemade crafts, doilies out the wazoo, and four toasters among other things.  Four fucking toasters......"just in case one broke". Lesson of this story: Just make sure the stuff you are being offered is stuff you will need and use. It's OK to tell someone no, you really don't want their crap.

Hopefully I have given you decent advise on how not to become hoarder.  If however you have come to the point where you already have too much stuff, just host a garage sale. Whatever money you make, don't spend it on more "stuff". Instead you can put it towards a fabulous trip.  Your welcome!

Photo Credit:


  1. That pic isn't as scary as the peeps that have garbage, cat poo, and varies dead animals laying around their house that they refuse to get rid of! That show scare me too, Shauna!

  2. Ahh! Any type of hoarder pics trigger an anxiety in me, but Susie is right that the cat collector ones are the worst. Ugh!

    Good advice. It is hard sometimes to say "no" to stuff when it's offered, but there are many ways to turn down stuff politely without hurting the givers' feelings for sure.