Photo: © Michael Gray | Dreamstime.com
The Time I Forgot To Shave My Legs
I booked a deluxe mani-pedi as a treat to myself. My feet were in rough shape, and I was in need of some "me" time. Usually when I have such an appointment, I make sure my legs are freshly shaved. This time however I guess I was too busy to remember. I don't want to blame motherhood for my lack of time and forgetfulness........actually, yeah I do. That's exactly why it slipped my mind.
The morning of my appointment I ran around the house trying to get ready with a toddler hanging onto my face. As I cartwheeled my child at my husband, and ran out the door with a half eaten bagel clenched between my teeth, I knew I was forgetting something. I just knew it.
I arrived at the nail spa, and the technician told me to pick out my color, while she got the pedicure station ready. I did just that, then sauntered on over to the pedicure area, already excited about the amazing leg massage I knew was coming. I sit down, roll up my tights..........
I forgot to shave my fucking legs.
I'm not sure what to do. Do I run? Do I just stay put? Do I come up with an elaborate lie, and reschedule? My legs seriously look like I've been in hibernation for the past six years. This is the weathers fault. It's been a long winter, I'm not use to shaving so often, damit!!
The attendant sits down on her stool, ready to get to work. I let out a sigh, and decide to just let it happen. Maybe she won't notice........who am I fucking kidding, of course she is going to notice. I can pretty much style a french braid into my leg if I really wanted to.
She gets to work on my toe nails, and my usual chatty self is staying mute, watching the TV. If I don't speak, it will be less awkward.
She busts out the lotion and goes for my legs.
Did this bitch just wince?
In a high pitched, giggly voice I say "I swear I'm not usually this hairy, but you know, motherhood, right?, Ha ha ha ha......." My laugh trails off into the silent air. I seriously hate the sound of my own voice right now.
She gives me a pathetic giggle back with a half smile/shrug.
Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut, and not point out the obvious long locks of leg hair. I mean I can actually feel the strands running through her fingers.
The rest of the pedicure ensues in silence. I leave the spa feeling such shame. The only cure is to stop at Dairy Queen, and drown my sorrows in a hot fudge brownie sundae.
Would you have stayed? Or re-booked?